Feelings

We want all of our children to learn ways to recognise and manage their feelings.  This is difficult.  So we develop these skills at each individual's pace throughout their education.

I've put this information in an order that reflects how these skills might develop from scratch.  You might find that the things at the beginning are still helpful for your child even if they are older and used to discussing how they feel.

It all starts with children trusting the adults around them to care about them and listen.



Showing Feelings

All children show their feelings.  You know your child and can recognise what that feeling looks like for them.

You might also be able to see what it is that has made them feel happy or sad.  This shows their preferences (and the things that might cheer them up if they feel sad).

For pupils at this stage of learning about feelings, point them out in the moment.  E.g. if they are smiling and playing with a balloon, just smiling back and saying "You are happy!" or "You like balloons!".

For children at this stage, the way to manage negative feelings is to look for support from the adults around them (both at home and school).

Learning to go to a familiar adult for a hug when you fall down is an important skill.  We teach this by offering love and support every day (and that hug when it's needed).

Reducing Stress with Visuals

The changes to routine caused by lockdown might be creating stress for some of our pupils.  If you have a look at our Symbols page, there are lots of ideas and resources that could help.

Starting to Spot and Name Feelings


You may have noticed we love a song!!



There are loads of good songs about feelings that our pupils enjoy singing and listening to in school.

The most basic feelings are happy and sad.

Here are some symbols you can use.  (You can save this image on your phone and let your child use it to answer the question "are you happy or sad?")


In the same way you can use these symbols to support children to identify happy and sad in photographs, stories, faces you pull... and so on!

Looking in mirrors and pulling faces or taking selfies is a great way to practise making and recognising facial expressions relating to feelings!

Naomi has made a video with some introductory Makaton, which includes happy and sad.  If you have a look at our Makaton page you can find out more.  

Here's a bit of Mr Tumble on happy and sad!



After happy and sad there are of course a wide range of emotions we can learn to identify.  The same strategies can be used to teach any feeling.

There are lots of good stories and books that explore feelings.  "The Colour Monster" is a Drummore favourite!





Giving Reasons for Feelings

 If your child is confident at identifying their feelings, the next step is to give a reason.

This might be something they can select from a choice.  For example, selecting a picture from a "something's wrong" board.

The children in Mull use this board to help them communicate what's wrong when they are upset.  To learn how to use it adults show first.  E.g.  If a child is upset because they want a shot on the Ipad... "Oh no, somethings wrong!  You are sad.  Do you want something?  Is it the Ipad?" pointing to the symbols and the object.


Children in Skye have a "feelings rainbow", which they use as part of their group time.  Each morning they select a feeling and might say a bit about what's making them feel that way.  Here's a rainbow you could look at with your child and discuss what the pictures mean.  Or you could make a feelings rainbow of your own!




If your child is finding it difficult to say why they feel a certain way that's ok.  It might also be that they say they feel happy when you can clearly see they aren't.

It's ok to give a reason for them or to suggest an alternative feeling.  Maybe say something like "I think you might be a bit sad because you can't go out to the park".

You can also show them how you feel today and demonstrate that it's ok to feel different ways.  "I'm feeling a little bit tired because I didn't sleep much last night".

A good way to follow this up, particularly where negative feelings are identified, is to talk about what we can do to feel a wee bit better.

Managing Feelings

As a parent the love and support you give your child is the most important thing that you can do to help them manage feelings.

There's a lovely page on the Cbeebies site that gives ideas for talking to your child about feelings, with video clips to help you engage them.

The clips on here come from a program called "Feeling Better" which is all simple stories about feelings.  Of course an important part of the story is the characters finding a way to feel better.  Watching this with your child and discussing it with them is a good way to learn about what we can do to manage feelings.

There are songs the children will enjoy and some activities on their website about feelings too.


In almost every story a character's feelings will change throughout.  Sometimes it's easier for children to think about what a character could do to feel better.  Or they could make a choice between different options the character could choose.


E.g. At the end of We're Going on a Bear Hunt this image is the last we see of the bear.  You can ask - how is he feeling? Why? What could make him feel better?

Things that make you feel a bit better are often small - talking to someone who cares, playing with a favourite toy or eating a favourite food.  We don't have to fix everything.  And we can't control the larger events in the world around us.

Childline has a "kids" page that is aimed at primary aged pupils.  It has information about coping with feelings, staying safe, and issues that might impact on children of this age like bullying.  There are some games and activities on the site that are about positivity and managing feelings.  It also gives the number to contact the service should a young person want to call. If they create an account they can talk to a counsellor online.


Always remember we are here!  If you are concerned about your child's feelings or your child has more persistent feelings of sadness or anger, talk to their teacher about what's going on and they can support you with individual strategies.  

And remember to look after your own feelings too!